I’ll be honest, some days I feel like I have my shit together, like I’ve got a path and a plan, but most days I’m left wondering what I’m doing with my life and where my current path is leading. Lost at 25 isn’t where I’d like to be, stuck in the middle of uncertainty watching everyone around me hit milestone after milestone and post about how happy and “blessed” they feel in the midst of it all. I don’t know where the last 5 years went, and honestly, most days I can’t comprehend the fact that I am half way through my twenties with little to show for it. This definitely isn’t what I thought my life would look like at 25, but maybe that’s part of the problem. Who ever said life was supposed to look a certain way at a certain age? It’s the blanket success markers, the unattainable standards, the unrealistic expectations, the carefully crafted narratives on social media and the constant, often subconscious, comparisons we find ourselves making every single day. We’ve somehow let ourselves be convinced that these things are the definitive indicators of a successful and happy life. The truth is, the things we’re judged on, and that we judge others on, are transitional. They’re temporary. Beauty fades, boyfriends change, goals are made and then forgotten, jobs are unpredictable, clothes go out of style, people gain weight and momentum dies. Life isn’t about what you accomplish, it’s about who you are behind all of that; behind the social media highlight reel, behind society’s superficial checklist and behind your public persona. I don’t know about you, but at the end of the day, and at the end of my life, I want to be remembered for my impact on this world, the way I made people feel, the amount of love I generated, and the nature of my soul because that’s the stuff that lives on. That will be my legacy. Not the job that I had, the vacations I took, the amount of likes I got or any of that other inconsequential bullshit.
Although it’s taken some time, I’ve realized that being lost is actually exactly where I want to be right now. Most people don’t realize they’re lost until much, much later in life. Some people never do. And unfortunately, the older you get the harder it is to effect change, to act selfishly, and to secure a second chance at whatever it is you feel like you may have missed the mark on. Being lost is a gift. After all, it’s not hard to be “found”. Everywhere you turn it seems like people have opinions about what you should be doing and where you should be going, but I don’t want to get to the end of my life and realize that none of it was what I wanted because I listened to what other people wanted for me, or because I took the fastest route I could find.
I’m lost because I’m passionate, because I care, and because I know that I want more than what I have, more than what the world is currently offering me. Being lost tells me that I still give a shit about doing something meaningful with my life. It also tells me that my past is not my future; it tells me I’m the kind of person that doesn’t settle for good enough; it tells me that I’d rather live in uncertainty than in the midst of something that doesn’t bring me happiness; and it tells me there is a bigger, better version of myself I have yet to realize. In a way, being lost is an opportunity to reinvent myself. To choose which pieces of my life, which habits, which traits and even which people, to keep and which to leave. It’s a chance to strip it down and build it back up.
If you’re in the same boat (whether you’re twenty-something or not), remember this: Do not be afraid of being lost and do not fear uncertainty because you can’t “get found” if you never leave your comfort zone. It’s OK to be lost, as long as you never lose your passion for life, your desire to keep working hard towards the things that you want and the conviction to keep searching for what it is that makes you truly happy. Do not accept mediocrity as your fate and you will be OK. You will find happiness. And you will always be right where you’re supposed to be.